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Groundnut: The underground forbidden fruit of Hawwah

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Most flowers are very proper about reproduction. They use infrared tattoo on their bodies to flirt with bees, butterflies, or other third parties, and then wait politely for fertilization. The process is very theatrical: pollen exchanges, sweet scents, delicate dances. Basically a Victorian ball with petals. The groundnut flower, or Arachis hypogaea , 落花生, however, is different. It does not outsource romance. It handles everything internally. There are no contract laborers. Just the sex organs doing their business. And then . . . the truly scandalous part: After lovemaking, instead of basking in the glow like a sunflower on holiday, Hypogaea does something extraordinary: it bows its head, elongates a little stalk called a peg, and politely drills itself into the soil. Other plants send their children into the world. The curious plant sends itself in...
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Yeoh Sim Joo's carrot

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. . . 本地華文報刊經常提到「紅蘿蔔」，其實就是「胡蘿蔔」。原來作者馮京當馬涼，錯把紅蘿蔔當胡蘿蔔。胡蘿蔔英文叫carrot，而紅蘿蔔只是外面一層紅色，裡面是白的，與胡蘿蔔不同。兔子吃的是胡蘿蔔，不是紅蘿蔔。蘿蔔本來是白的，冠以「白」是多此一舉 . . . Yeoh Sim Joo 楊欣儒 (2021) Hong-luobo is not Hu-luobo 「紅蘿蔔」不是「胡蘿蔔」in Oriental Daily, 9 May 2021 . In the article, only the first paragraph is packed with bullshits, other paragraphs are perfectly legit and crafted with real information. Yeoh would have us believe that the term 紅蘿蔔 properly refers only to the red Chinese radish, and that it ought never be applied to the carrot, which, in the tidy confines of his universe, exists solely in orange. 勥就好，莫假勥。 Khiàng tiō hó, mái ké-khiàng: Just be smart, don't be a smartass. At a café somewhere in Jalan Bakri, the Hu 胡 clan gathered for their annual CNY summit. The waiter came. Without consultation and without dissent, all of the Hus ordered carrot...
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Concerning longkang and kolam

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Kain dalam achar: Kutip cuci ia nak masuk ke dalam longkang juga. You may pick out an old garment from the scrapheap and you may clean it, but it will want to go back into the cesspool all the same. See Wilkinson (1901), p. 5. The use of achar was restricted only in northern Malay states. It is probably a corrupted form of kachara कचरा (garbage). A phenotypical opposite was also given by Wilkinson: Laksana intan manikam jatuh di longkang . Tak hilang cahaya (p. 601): Like diamonds and pearls which do not lose their lustre even if they fall into a cesspool; characters which the worst surroundings cannot degrade. 你降下甘霖，灌透 壟溝 ， 滋潤壟背，使地鬆軟、 長出莊稼。 . . . τοὺς αὔλακας αὐτῆς μέθυσον πλήθυνον τὰ γενήματα αὐτῆς ἐν ταῖς σταγόσιν αὐτῆς εὐφρανθήσεται ἀνατέλλουσα . . . Saturating its furrows ( αὔλακας ), leveling its ridges, You cause it to rejoice in the overflow of moisture, You bless it...
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Vamsa muntah lembu in Leyden's Malay Annals (1810/1821)

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. . . a certain Raja Bachitram Shah (afterwards known as Sang Sӗperba), with two followers, suddenly appeared at a place called Bukit Siguntang Maha Meru, in Palembang, Sumatra, and the Raja described himself as a direct descendant of Alexander the Great. The story was accepted, and Sang Sӗperba became the son-in-law of the local chief; but, not content with ruling over Palembang, he sailed to Java, to Bentan (where he left a son, Sang Nila Utama), and finally back to another state in Sumatra, named Mӗnangkâbau . . . Frank Swettenham (1906) British Malaya . . . on the accession of a Perak ruler, Winstedt records, Toh Sri Nara Diraja reads the Chiri or Sanskrit coronation address, such as hailed his first Malacca ancestor: . . . Fortunate great king, smiter of rivals, valorous, whose crown jewels ravish the three worlds, whose touch dispels suffering, protector, pilot over the ocean of battle, confuter...
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